Scandinavia Salad

Images to be added later as they are not properly uploading.

Been a few days. Not much has happened in the way of crazy or particularly interesting anecdotes. I thought that I'd check in with just some various things I took notes on as I have wandered through Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and finally Finland where I have just left. The majority of this is just copied down notes. Also, today going back through Stockholm on my way to Amsterdam I will need to buy a new camera, as mine was stolen off the table of a coffee shop my first afternoon in Helsinki. I was stupid to leave it there. So, a lot of these pictures are of things I'm not exactly describing simply because those pictures are lost.

Arriving in Helsinki

I am writing this from Olympic Stadium in Helsinki Finland, or more speciifcally the old Olympic village. It is not what you'd call a masterpiece of architecture, the stadium is impressive, even though the village (hostel) has more of an Eastern Bloc kintergarten feel escept for the common room which was gorgeous. This is where the 1952 summer games were hosted, which I found surprising, Finland definitely feels more like a winter games town. The morning I arrived it was below freezing as I got lost and walked about 6km to find the hostel.

Drugs and yoga and impending disaster

Christiana is a "free neighborhood" in Copenhagen that enjoys autonomy from the city's laws. It is basically a few city blocks on anarchy, with a very open drug trade, and a sign as you leave that says "Now entering the EU". I didn't have any real interesting experience in the place, and I found it kind of seedy. However I do think that the very existence of it is kind of notable. Christiana makes its own currency called the lon, however the guys on Pusher Street (yes) will accept DKR. There are several very rickety wooden shanties people have built wherever, as there is no building code or zoning laws. It is kind of a hard arrangement to understand, because I am told the City Government (Copenhagen) has been cracking down on the drug trade for about five years. Typically once a month they will ride in and bust everyone, but on the day I was there and most others the drugs are laid out on roadside tables, like a menu, like hotdog stands. I couldn't find anyone willing to allow me to take a picture of this.

Near the open air drug market there are lookouts placed for the inevitable incursions by the local politi. I get the sense that this place is starting to erode, the government is taking steps to normalize the neighborhood, and these hardcore anarchists are not going to go down without a fight. I don't see them organizing any cogent legal defense, but a riot is a very real possibility. The residents that are not junkies and homeless are rabid in the defense of their way of life. The high minded and peaceful yoga enthusiasts are being pushed by a harder edged angry anti establishment youth who are being pushed by the KBH (Kobenhavn, as it is spelled natively) Fuzz.

At its best and most idealized you hear the place is a haven of free thought and artistic expression. A sort of hippie commune given a shred of legal legitimacy that has evolved into an anarchist's sandbox. The idea is much more glamorous than the reality I saw in my very short walk through it. Christiana has been around since 1971, got the bulk of its current legitimacy in 1989, and in 2004 started to come under heavy attack from the politicians of the city. It is certainly a worthy social experiment, but the feel is now as though it is the end of a long game of jenga. There is a fall apart coming, either from within or without. The answer is likely both. The most dangerous looking and feeling people I have seen in all of Scandinavia squat leaning against the old stained bricks of the original military barracks that was there, they are smoking their cigarettes and other things, and squinting at all who pass. These people are not going to leave easily. Their hands are red from the cold and rough from hard living. They are not here for the sharing of ideas, or art, or even freedom insofar as an ideal. They are here to be left alone. To be unhindered by the laws of the real world which restrict them in whatever ways that it does. Mercy on those that try to interfere. There will be murders.

Through sunwashed cobblestone alleys

Stockholm, in the center at Gamla Stan is maybe the most beautiful city I have ever been to. The buildings all have a semi uniform yellow-orange tint to them, like the background of a post renaisssance landscape painting. The townhouses rise directly at the point of water, on the island, nearly all buildings are around 5 stories, but from a distance you can see the four steeples of the Cathedral, Royal Palace, Riddarholm Church, and the House of nobility. The architecture is compact as many of these buildings and the city plan date back to the middle ages. The streets are narrow and cobblestone with winding alleys that you can imagine being lightless and stinking warrens in another, less prosperous time. Of course, the food is bland (as everywhere in Scandinavia), but for walking along strapped with all your possessions and listening to your ipod, there is no better place to be walking that I have found.

"He's the one that raped me officer, the one with the King mask."

The night I got into Oslo it was 10PM local and I was starving. It took me an hour to find a room, this was the night before the famous "Who Dey" incident on the MS Innvik. When I finally found an overpriced room, I went looking for food and ended up at Burger King. I got one of the meals, just a burger, fries, large coke zero and an extra cheeseburger, it was 150 NOK. I realized later that it cost 24 dollars. I am fucking serious. Norway is insanely expensive.

Finland is for lovers

I did not sleep at my hostel either night in Finland. I would still be there were I not meeting my friend Bill in Amsterdam soon and need to make my way so we arrive on the same day. On night one I wandered the main drag near the train station and went into the place with the loudest music. I had bought some vodka on the ship, duty free, so had taken a few drinks before heading out because alcohol in all of these Nordic countries is quite pricey.

Now, in Finland especially, if there is an open spot at your table it is very common for someone to come and sit down. I think this is awesome. They will ask if someone is sitting there, and if not will plop down across from you. Now the weird thing is, in Scandinavia people are very standoffish at first, if you are a stranger it is nearly for certain you will need to start the conversation. Not that its a big deal, but as an outsider it can get occasionally exhausting.

It has beome increasingly clear that I am very under dressed for European nightlife. I had sort of expected this, especially after the loss of my jacket somewhere in Southern France. My suede boots are looking rough, and mostly I am just rocking jeans and sweaters. This is offset by the exotic nature of being a foreigner, so its a wash socially.

I got a drink and sat down, and before long a group of 6 people sat down at the same table and they looked much cooler than I did. They were all together, and they were speaking fast in Finnish which is probably the second most impossible language to pick up in the world behind Mandarin Chinese. After a few minutes when they were a little more settled in, I looked at them, 2 men, 4 women, and I asked: "So...who's the leader here?" They looked at eachother puzzled, I nodded and continued. "Okay, I'll be the leader, but you all need to tell me your names."

5 of the 6 were work friends from some local office, the other was one of the guy's girlfriend. After they warmed up to me they were very fun, and I was made to go and dance several times. Now, please not that I am a horrendous dancer, it probably looks something like an uncooked turkey rolled down a rocky hill out of synch with whatever music. However, the floor in front of the band was so full that it restricted movement and in my case embarassment. Everyone is a bad dancer when there is no room for it. And once I had the acceptance of one group it became very easy to move through the place and speak to everyone, it was as if I had been vouched for. The cross section was impressive, sharp dressed professionals, and kids with mohawks and bullrings, they moved amongst eachother with ease and comfort. I was talking to some punk rockers near the bar when Adelina, from my initial group, caught up with me and started to give me a hard time about leaving them.

"Nonsense." I told her. "I'm your leader I wouldn't leave you behind. I am just trying to find some more subjects."

"We are not good enough?"

"You are very close to good enough, just one or two more people." She laughed. Sometimes I am on, and I was very on.

I got back to the Hostel the next afternoon around 1PM. I had gone for a change of clothes, and it took me forty five minutes to get there from Adelina's place (Ye-Yeah!) My plans were to see the Picasso Exhibit at the National Gallery, and then try to match Friday night with Thursday night. At the Hostel I met an American named Andrew who was also laid off and traveling, a former entertainment lawyer from LA, and we made plans to meet up. Much of our conversation was about how isolating it could become when alone all the time and how it was puzzling that people in hostels seemed to prefer hanging out in them at night rather than go out. You will see the same person camped with their laptop the whole day, and into the night, why travel?

That night Andrew and I were walking towards the tram stop talking when this girl walked up to us, she was short, wearing thick rimmed hipster glasses, leggings and chuck taylor all-stars. In Europe everyone wears chucks. "Why are you guys speaking English?" Cause we're American. "Really?! Where are you guys from?" Her name was Nicole, and she was from New Mexico getting a free masters in Architectural design in Helsinki. She was headed to the stadium for a concert so we followed her. However, apparently in Helsinki there are two venues called Toloon hall, and she had gone to the wrong one, so she decided to come along with us as a guide.

Friday night in Helsinki was the most fun I have had so far, and ironically it was at Molly Malone's. There is a Molly Malone's like a block from my place in America. And this place was completely kickin' on Friday night. In line to get in (yes.) we met up with a guy from New York who was couch surfing, and a finnish couple who stopped to ask us for directions. This was the night I noticed a lot of Finnish girls spit. Spit like baseball players on the street. You have these super beautiful, and they are beautiful- Finland is filthy with hot girls, and every few minutes in a conversation they will turn away and spit on the street! I never ever got used to seeing it. Nicole told me it was something that had just started in the last year or so. She thought it had come from some film, but she wasn't sure which.

Anyway, by the time we got in there I was rolling with eight people I had met that day, and we were all talking like old friends. One good thing about meeting new folks every day is that all your best stories are new again. The band sang in English, and there were drink specials for vodka, it was a good scene. We amused oursevles dancing, swapping stories, and exchanging slang words in native languages. Eventually we played games where the guys would go talk to ladies, and then someone from the group would go and cockblock. This sprung from my story of the greatest cockblock of all time...here it is...

-The greatest cockblock of all time-

Every year, everyone from my fantasy football leage meets up after the season to divide up the cash and just hang out. It's something I look forward to every year and a tradition that is one of the reasons it is the best league ever, I truly enjoy hanging out with those guys. The greatest cockblock of all time actually happened the year I missed thi event. Anyway, after dinner we usually go and hit the bars and this one year the guys went to Crowley's up in Mount Adams, I had to work so this is all second hand from like five sources.

Our pal Googy was making time with this lady, and really getting somewhere. It was near the end of the night, and all signs pointed to Googs at worst getting her number. She had happily isolated herself from her friends and she was looking at his passport, he was making her laugh, they were leaned in close. Googy had not driven himself, and it was the end of the night and more than a few people were sauced, including the league commisioner Mark. Mark, who I could picture with his troublemaking grin and glassy eyes from the beers was trying to get people organized to leave as last call was rapidly approaching. He made his way right over to Googs and the girl and he said in a very loud voice:

"Dude, are you gonna fuck her? Or are we gonna go?"

Googs' eyebrows shoot up and he shrugs "I guess we're gonna go."

Greatest cockblock of all time. No argument.

-End anecdote-

By the end of the night at Molly's, around 330am, I was walking with the Finnish couple and Nicole, everyone else had scattered. After a cursory look for places that were still open I agreed to walk Nicole home, or more insisted since the buses weren't running, not that she argued. She had been super cool to us, and had hilariously rolled up my pants when I got hot in the bar from the movement and crush of people. I looked ridiculous. My pants are getting way to big for me, due to all of this walking loaded down with my stuff. I think I have lost fifteen pounds in 3 weeks, I had to make a new hole in my belt.

I did not realize the walk to Nicole's apartment on her campus would take an hour and a half. We weren't even in Helsinki anymore, I was freezing, my feet were in agony. We got to her place at sunrise, and had one of those really connected and cool talks you have sometimes on the walk there. By the time we arrived it was her "shift" to do the laundry, so she washed my clothes too.

The Hostel in the Olympic village was basically a 40euro place to keep my backpack for two days. Last night I was on a ship and I stayed in my cabin and rested my legs which still felt like they were going to fall off. And right now I am typing all of this at a coffee shop in Sweden, my plans are to watch football tonight, do laundry, and rest some more. Afterall, in two days I will be in Amsterdam with an old friend and I am going to need to be rested.